Do you sometimes feel like you have a little devil inside you? I feel like this. A lot. Especially in the last weeks I feel like this more often and often and I am scared of myself because of this. And this is also, at least that's what I think, the topic of Serial Experiments Lain.
Lain is ... a complicated show. I am not sure if I really got everything that series wanted to tell me but I also think that this is not really important because everyone can have their own experience with something, especially with a weird show like Serial Experiments Lain with a confusing story about a girl called Lain which learns how to use computers and becomes some kind of celebrity in The Wired, that's how the internet of that show is called. In reality Lain is a introverted girl with not much friends and gets bullied by her own friends but in The Wired she is known as extroverted and maybe kind of sexy and outgoing. Lain claims to know that she doesn't know about that other self in The Wired and I am not really sure if this is the case or if she lies or if she just doesn't want to admit to herself that is she is different in The Wired but I am at least sure they, the Lain in reality and the Lain in The Wired, are the same person.
And that marks the point I want to talk about, the other self. Like I stated at the beginning I begin to become afraid of myself because I think I have some kind of demon in myself. Sometimes there are these moments were some kind of lever gets moved and I am suddenly the biggest asshole you can imagine, spreading hate all over the world. Which is the total opposite of what I want - I want to make people happy. I want to entertain. And the huge problem is that I simply don't know what I really think anymore. If the things I say when this lever is moved are my real thoughts or not, I am not sure.
This other self has a huge influence on Lain's life. Her only friend, Alice, even turns away from Lain as Lain's other self made the relationship between Alice and her teacher public. Which is totally a dick move but nothing the real Lain would ever do. That is something I am extremely scared of. That I do something which is so wrong that others begin to leave me behind which is actually the thing I want the least. I like to talk to others and share opinions and that's why I don't know why I sometimes say the complete opposite. Was I just born to spread hate? Am I an evil devil born to hurt others even if I don't want to? I don't know but I sure feel like this and I am sure Lain had the exact same problem. I am sorry for all the bad things I say. I already got a psychologist and hope she can help me so that I don't have to suffer the same fate as Lain.
Lain is ... a complicated show. I am not sure if I really got everything that series wanted to tell me but I also think that this is not really important because everyone can have their own experience with something, especially with a weird show like Serial Experiments Lain with a confusing story about a girl called Lain which learns how to use computers and becomes some kind of celebrity in The Wired, that's how the internet of that show is called. In reality Lain is a introverted girl with not much friends and gets bullied by her own friends but in The Wired she is known as extroverted and maybe kind of sexy and outgoing. Lain claims to know that she doesn't know about that other self in The Wired and I am not really sure if this is the case or if she lies or if she just doesn't want to admit to herself that is she is different in The Wired but I am at least sure they, the Lain in reality and the Lain in The Wired, are the same person.And that marks the point I want to talk about, the other self. Like I stated at the beginning I begin to become afraid of myself because I think I have some kind of demon in myself. Sometimes there are these moments were some kind of lever gets moved and I am suddenly the biggest asshole you can imagine, spreading hate all over the world. Which is the total opposite of what I want - I want to make people happy. I want to entertain. And the huge problem is that I simply don't know what I really think anymore. If the things I say when this lever is moved are my real thoughts or not, I am not sure.
This other self has a huge influence on Lain's life. Her only friend, Alice, even turns away from Lain as Lain's other self made the relationship between Alice and her teacher public. Which is totally a dick move but nothing the real Lain would ever do. That is something I am extremely scared of. That I do something which is so wrong that others begin to leave me behind which is actually the thing I want the least. I like to talk to others and share opinions and that's why I don't know why I sometimes say the complete opposite. Was I just born to spread hate? Am I an evil devil born to hurt others even if I don't want to? I don't know but I sure feel like this and I am sure Lain had the exact same problem. I am sorry for all the bad things I say. I already got a psychologist and hope she can help me so that I don't have to suffer the same fate as Lain. 
I am pretty sure, that is not what the Makers intended to tell us with SE Lain, but there you go.
AntwortenLöschenThese feelings that you are describing are very similiar to the conflicts that the characters from Persona 4 are dealing with. It is a commen theme in Jungs psychology. He talks about the Shadow, which are the repressed, therefore unknown, aspects of the personality including those often considered to be negative. An interesting connection to Lain. I think at the time when Lain was broadcasted the internet was a place where you can explore your own personality and the more hidden parts of it (like your shadow self, which you suppress in "real" life) more freely (in anonymous Chatrooms). Nowadays with Facebook people tend to be creating not a totally different personality in the internet but more so just a copy of there "real" personality and the borders between them arent there anymore. (Sorry for my bad german english).
AntwortenLöschen